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Hmmm.. who am I? A profound question! More than 'who i am' what matters is 'who I belong to'. Read through my blog and website and find out who I belong to!

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End of september - so here's my top songs for the month!

My Top 10 Songs for September
1. This is it - Jonah33
2. Starspin - Downhere
3. Beauty of Grace - Krystal Meyers
4. Take me Away - Sarah Kelly
5. Stand in the Rain - Superchic[k]
6. Joy - Newsboys
7. What it's like - Downhere
8. Happy - Ayiesha Woods
9. Winds of Change - Kutless
10. Fall in Line - Seven Places


My Top 5 artists for September
1. Downhere
2. Sarah Kelly
3. Jonah33
4. Superchic[k]
5. Audio Adrenaline

To sum up today - it was a runny nose, blocked choanae, stuffed sinuses, a throbbing headache, retroorbital pain, a touch of fever and sone myalgia.
Exciting.....

With such a looong gap for my practical exams I decided to get back to work. Felt a little different getting back inside nursery. I did nothing much except attend rounds. I then scooted off to pick up my official notice about the exam dates and also get my Log Book.
My exam dates are actually th 13th of October. Look it up in the calendar and you'll notice it is 'Friday the 13th'.
Again no comments....
The rest of the day was exciting. I couldnt get to church for practice as it was too late by the time I had lunch. Anyway there were enough people today (Sarah and Soniya were leading)
During lunch Cynthia called up and requested me to help out with guitars on 2 "small numbers" they were singing at a "farewell function". It was cutting it tight as we had a class meeting at 5 PM and then I had to attend the Women's Hostel Day before 7 PM. She promised that it would be OK to meet at 6.30 PM and we'd be out by 7.30 PM.
I worked out how to keep Manish occupied during this time and said OK.
Rajiv, Jenifer and I turned up for the class meeting and had a short session of singing, sharing and prayer.
I the picked up Manish and as I was late, I zoomed off to Bagayam. Manish clung on for dear life behind me pale and tachycardic. I called up Cynthia and all of us landed together in Desmond's Pool. As it turned out the 'farewell' was for Dr. Chandran - a Neurology Professor - & was pretty much high profile with lots of senior doctors and faculty (I felt like a nerd in Jeans and a Tshirt!) and the 2 'small' songs were some Hindi pop number and "More than Words". I still cant figure out how she convinced me it was OK to make take up the challenge. Soon after lots of delays and some kind of chord sequences, there I was holding a Yamaha guitar with 2 gorgeously beautiful girls (Woah.... they took my breath away!) who had stunning voices doing something I did not understand. I actually hit a couple of right chords I think!! I then scooted back to the auditorium at 9 PM (Cynthia... you said 7.30 PM) had a quick dinner. Srila was a great hostess. The rest of WH day was pretty dazed and I finally got back to my room still unable to figure out what all I did today... duh...just another day for you and me I guess

The relief of getting over the theory exams was obvious day and I simply lazed around most of the day aimlessly.
Most of the day saw me in bed on my comp and with an empty mind (duh!!)
I got my practical exam dates finally at around 4 PM today - 12th October! bang on my birthday. No comments.......

Well... today was the last exam and I was least nervous about it.
The questions were definitely tougher today and I was not too pleased with the way I structured a few answers. But at the end of it all, I just felt so relieved that the written part of the exams were all over and largely uneventful.
Now the wait for the practical exam begins. The dates havent yet been announced. They're definitely a lot tougher than the theory exams. Infact noone has flunked a theory exams recently. Lots of people have failed the practical exams. Thinking about this fact is not useful. I'll spend the next few days gearing up as much as I can.
For today - I'll catch a peaceful afternoon siesta, check out orkut and eat a lot!

Just one of them days ......
I had a nervous breakfast and took an auto to get to the exam hall.
Just a few minutes out of CMC I realised that I had left my Hall Ticket in my room. I turned the auto around and after a dash up to my room was blazing down to bagayam. Just reached on time and was the last one to stroll inside. I sat in my usual place and was greeted by an empty table with no number. A quick search and I was directed to another row - the seating arrangements had changed.
I pulled out the info sheet to fill in my data and realised I'd left my hall ticket in my bag. I went out and took it!
Normally these sort of events can unnerve you just be4 an exam. Somehoe peace that passeth all understanding just reigned over me.
The exam started and God was even more gracious! The MCQs were much better today and as if that wasnt enough, the theory questions were very basic - almost undergraduate level! Infact I had taught some medical students the very same things that came as questions today - HIE, cephalhematoma, TTN, IDM. Amazingly there were no questions from Social Pediatrics - the section that I was least prepared for!
I felt extremely relieved today!
Guess who's in control!!!

After the usual nervousness in the morning and nearly forgetting to take my case with my pens and paraphernalia, I made it on time. The MCQs were average. The theory questions were however a breeze - mostly cases we manage regularly (Asthma, IEM, etc) and a few that werent very difficult. The question on Obesity had be stumbling a little, but it wasnt too big an issue (pun intended!)
Felt quite relieved that the going was smooth.
Dosed the afternoon and then got back to cramming some Social Pediatrics.

I couldn't join the Worship Team today because of my exams. Barney was the wroship leader. It was the first time he was doing it and he was backed up by Kenny, the VIT guys and Jyothi. I like then guy! He added so much depth to the songs we sang. I can see a pssion in him when he leads. I'm glad he'll be around for a few more years at CMC and will lead worship more often.
A few of us who usually lead worship will be leaving shortly and we need more new people.
Enjoyed church.... as usual!

I was pretty tense when I woke up this morning. The preclinical subjects which would be covered in today's exams were subjects taught about 10 years ago. I'd tried recramming a lot of those in the last few days.
Took an autorickshaw to Bagayam where the exams were held and made a nervous entry into the exam hall.
The first 40 minutes were multiple choice questions and they were a little tough. But I went through it peacefully.
The next set of questions were then given to me and voila.... I couldnt help smiling. At least 2 questions I had hoped would come were staring me in the face. The rest of the questions were a mixture of stuff I'd read, I could figure out or at least write 2 pages about!
My handwriting was unfortunately as bad as ever. I left the hall pretty relieved.
God's answers are wiser than our prayers. Period!

The seconds tick past and every hour means less time to cram / daydream / vent / get psyched out by the exams. Time is zipping by at 3600 secs per hour while knowledge crawls at one page per hour. And in 34 hours more the cramming will turn to vigorous writing, scrawling, drawing and underlining as I try to prove my worthiness of an MD degree. Heck... why cant the hours and hours I spent in the wards with the babies simply be enough to convince these dudes about my ability!
Guess not... so exams it will be...
34 hours - 18 hours of sleep plus 3 hours of eating/coffee, 3 hours of daydreaming/empty thoughts, 4 hours of wwwebbing (uh!). That's just 4 hours to hit the books. Duh... did I calculate wrong. 4 hours for all of pharmacology, pathology, a lot of microbiology, physiology, bits of anatomy.... lol.... maybe I should just sleep the whole 34 hours. And top it with a weekend of Nelson, Vimlesh Seth, Scott's PediaTRICKS, etc etc.... oops... did I miscalculate. Man... drop the calculations and just get on with life.
Will end this messed up entry on a better note with 2 SMSes that Gladwin sent me:
At 1550 hours- God is ready to meet our need, not our greed. He always gives us what we deserve, not what we desire. Good evening.
At 2215 hours: He used the clay to create human beings. He used a rod to divide the red sea. He used a pebble to bring down a giant. He used acrow to feed a prophet. He used 5 bread and 2 fish to feed 5 thousand men. He used 2 wooden blocks and 3 nails to give meaning to the life of entire mankind. Think of the great things the Lord can do in your life. Hz studies going. G N
Guess the SMS make more sense than my thoughts.
Stay tight for more updates!

I was reflecting on this week and realised that so many people are actually praying for MY exams and keep on encouraging me. The list is endless and I wont attempt to mention it all.
Boopalan uncle and aunty from church told me "You are on our regular prayer list Benji. Now that we've retired and have no work, we have taken up praying for people as our job. WE PRAY FOR YOU EVERYDAY!"
Everybody I bump into enquires if studies are going on OK.
Today there was a paper reading in the department on a topic quite relevant to my exams. It almost got cancelled because the Nursery was really busy, but simply because it would be useful for me, everyone took time off and we had it!
Jolly sends me a verse everyday by SMS.
I bumped into Sushil's wife Anju at breakfast and she gave me an encouraging Psalm.
Sarah and Sophia texted me yesterday saying they wouldnt be in town for a few days but would be praying for me.
Vinu left today for home (he's getting married next week) and promised to pray for my exams.
Nisha sent me a very encouraging SMS!
Appa and Amma nagged me to email them my exam schedule so that they could pray in Real Time for it. (Yeaaahhh!!)
I've been given leave by my department with no questions asked!
Lots and lots more tidbits, incidents, SMS and stuff.... but I wont bore you with any of the details.
I still feel very underprepared for the exams. Let's see.....

Today raw fear about the exams hit me quite hard just before I packed up from the library to return to my room. I am pretty nervous about the exams, but for a few minutes I experienced how unprepared and worthless I seemed. In a way it's good, but I hope that it spurs me on to study more...
The best part of today was bumping into Santosh - my classmate at college. He'd been in Australia for a 6-month fellowship and had come back just a week ago. We talked in hushed tones in the library where we met and caught up on happenings. His career looks all set to take off and I hope he does well. I pondered for a moment about what all my classmates were upto. I'd created a page on our homepage called NOW a few months ago. You'll see how different each of us is! I gotta update that page sometime as things have changed a lot!
Site of the day: CCM links: a daily update of free Christian mp3s available legally online! Looks like I'll be checking it everyday!
Game of the day: Exodus3000: Takes 10-20 minutes a day, but is quite addicting! Try it! You'll like it!
SMS of the day: From Sophia (She's doing an MCA course - Master of Computer Applications) "Hope you're studying well for your exams. I am praying that God will bless you with more RAM"
My reply: "Er.... I also need a faster processor..."
Other things I did today: Updated my Spybot S&D program and ran a scan - found a few nuisances which I deleted.
Gosh... isn't life esciting... so much in so little time!!

I tried to read some Endocrinology today (that includes all stuff like your thyroid glands, adrenals, growth hormone, puberty etc etc) and it seemed quite volatile. I tried reading from 3 books and managed to cram in some knowledge. Will I remember it tomorrow? That's the million-dollar question during this time of cramming and studying! I actually regret all the time I wasted before. I should advice my juniors to hit the books the day they join the course!!

SMS of the day (courtesy Gladwin):
Morning is God's Way of saying: "One more time!" Live ur life... Make a difference...Touch 1 heart, encourage 1 mind.. & inspire 1 soul. Have a blessed morning..!
Time Sent: 6-Sept-2006. 07:15:48
Thanx for the great start to the day Glady!

Lyrics of the Day:
I'm still fascinated by Downhere
"Calmer of the Storm" by Downhere - Lyrics: The music and the lyrics blow my mind away!!

Appendix:
Jolly Sent me this SMS - she was in library too a few rows behind me: "Benji, I can see your brains oozing out through your ears"
My response: "Aiyo! Now they are all gone out! What to do? It's all empty now...."
Maybe it's true.... I feel light-headed! Help........

Yup.... the title says it all....
With just about 10 days left before my grand finale and exams I trudge on with a confused study schedule and trying to pick up every scrap of knowledge that I can get! Unfortunately sleep, the internet, daydreaming, music, laziness seem to think otherwise and the ultimate amount of time spent studying seems frightfully less. Today I got a call from Dr. Jana requesting me to help out with the afternoon OPD and I gladly agreed. It felt good to see babies again, examine them, flip them over, auscultate them, make faces at them and then speak to their moms about them. Unfortunately, rules state that to pass exams you need to writes long answer sheets and reply to questions in the written form. The OPD gave me a welcome break and I caught up with Manish and the unit. Spent the evening and the night trying to read some endocrinology and scattered bits before I came back and updated the blog. The next few days are crucial - I need to accelerate and spend more time with the books. Hope it works better each day.


Been looking for innovative and newer ways to get my sites noticed more on the wwweb. I've never tried pay-per-click search engine placements, but finally I got tempted with this site - iNETTING.com which gives $5.00 free for advertising! So technically if I bid 1 ceiNetting.com - a great PPC search engine which gives you a free 5$ for advertisingnt for my site keywords per click, then I get 500 targetted visitors to my site. There are no extra fees or stuff - so I get debited only when someone searches for a keyword attached to my site and then actually scans the replies and clicks on my site link based on the title and description. Hopefully this means only genuine visitors will actually visit my site and spend time on it. What attracted me to it (over other PPC search engines) was a clean layout and easy to use interface to add links and keywords in addition to the 5$ bonus which was an added bonus. No hidden or additional cost means that I get what my account is debited for - no cent wasted.
I do expect positive results from this site and I'll post my stats here in a few days. My gut feeling is that this will work. Of course my webpages are not gonna get flooded by a million hits, but I'm sure that I'll get genuine visitors who hopefully will find what they were looking for on my sites! Wish me all the best!iNETTING.com - my first attempt at PPC search engines!

Try the actual search engine here:



The band that has really caught my attention the last week has been DOWNHERE.
A couple of months ago Arpudh bragged about the band and then I listened to this awesome son called "The more" on air1's radio station and I got hooked. As usual none of their CDs were available in India and finally I caught a great deal on Ebay and received 2 of their albums. Last week, I finally got down to listening to their self-titled debut album and it blew me away - both musically and lyrically. These guys have in-your-face lyrics that do not dilute or mask the message they preach. Catchy vocals and riffs and a strong message run through the whole album and I would recommend you try to get it.
I was craving for more of them and today I bumped into a site that allows a free MP3 download of a whole song!
Download the full song "The More" by DOWNHERE from GrassRoots Music. I'm sure just this one track will have you hooked. The above link also tells us the story behind the song and has the lyrics. You can tell why I fell in love with the band.
And if that wasnt enough, I also got to hear a brand new song called "A Better Way" on KLove radio - another awesome song! In this time when bands substitute a "positive message" for the Gospel and when vague references for God, Downhere has shown through 3 albums that they still like to present the Gospel undiluted and straightforward. Thank God I found them!!

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